THE TECH BRO

The Tech Bro wasn’t much good with technology, but he was great at being a bro.

His older brother had made a ton of money supplying people with tech-bro labor. None of these startups became successful businesses, but nobody cared. The plan was to create back-offices in Silicon Valley where a bunch of bros would look really busy. Then the investors, who were mostly Chinese and Saudis, would pay a lot for that Valley magic.

Just like real Silicon Valley people, the bros wore Everland and Allbirds, and they owned AirPods, and went to cyber bootcamps and drank cold-brew coffee. And they burned through the money of those gullible investors. Lots of money. Millions.

The Tech Bro managed this enterprise. He had learned to look exactly like he really knew what he was doing. He would imitate whatever tech trend seemed hottest in the Valley, and also, he would cheerfully sign all the incriminating legal papers that his brother was too smart to sign.

His loyalty and cheerful attitude made sure that the Tech Bro was constantly promoted, and, also, he was the Founder’s little brother, so he got Tesla cars, girls from Las Vegas, and surfing trips. Who couldn’t like that great life?

Then the Tech Bro caught on about “Cyberdeck.” He didn’t quite know what Cyberdeck was, and technically, he didn’t care, but whatever it was, he knew that he could get away with it.

Bruce Sterling